81% of 10 year olds are afraid of being fat
90% 15-17 year old girls who want to change at least one aspect of their physical appearance
97% of ALL women have at least ONE moment per day where they hate on their body, judge themselves, or wish something was different
While these stats make me SO sad and leave me thinking, “WOW. What’s wrong with our world? If only women could see their beauty and truly love ALL of themselves—inside and out…”
And then 10 minutes later I’m picking on myself for gaining weight and my shirt not fitting the way I want it to. UGH.
This shit runs soooo deep.
As girls, our training began early around how we should look, think, act, behave and feel. Our teachers were our parents, our family, our friends, our society, our culture. We received endless feedback, information, and clues that indicated we weren’t good enough in some way shape or form.
I vividly remember being 5 maybe 6 years old sitting on the edge of a pool during a swimming lesson at camp. One of the counselors was commenting on how cute this boy was and how his thighs were so small and tiny. Now, looking back, I understand that them saying that could’ve had a serious effect on what this boy internalized about himself, buuuut that’s his story.
My story that played in my head was, “Ugh. I’m not cute enough. My thighs look so much bigger than his. I want them to think I’m cute. Let me see if I can make my thighs look smaller…”
And so I proceeded to prop myself up with my hands and put my weight on my arms so my thighs didn’t squish against the concrete ledge as much. Even so, my thighs were still bigger than his and I felt self-conscious about them from that day on.
My insecurity around my legs didn’t improve. I mean, it didn’t help that in high school a guy friend told me and my bestie that we had thunder thighs. And at the time I was a whopping 109 pounds, sooo yeah, that was interesting. But regardless, I felt too big. Too thick. Not enough. I know the same went for her because she developed an eating disorder.
Now, while we’ve been receiving this intensive and incessant training all of our lives, we do not have to be victim to it. We CAN make a change. We can change the stories we tell ourselves. We can change the words we speak to other women. We can change what we allow into our sacred spaces. We can change what we tolerate and what we will no longer stand for.
I’ve been on this journey of making a change for some time now, but I’ve decided to plunge even deeper and step even further outside of my comfort zone. While there are countless ways to do this, I’ve decided that the next frontier in making a change, once and for all, is diving even deeper into my sexuality. I know like I know like I know that this is the gateway that will free me from so much of the shame and judgment I’ve subjected myself to.
The next step of this adventure starts this Sunday
, as I embark on a yearlong Sex, Love, and Relationship Certification program. What does this mean for you?
Well, let’s be real—I can’t seem to keep my life off of social media, so you’ll be hearing and seeing more intimate, real, and raw posts about my journey. I’m not gonna lie. I’m scared SHITLESS.
Scared shitless to open up Pandora’s taboo box and discover what’s inside. Scared shitless to share what I find. Scared shitless of the thoughts, misconceptions, and projections people may have once I do share. Scared shitless of being shunned, judged, shamed, made fun of, and even ostracized.
Buuuuut I’m not one to let those things stop me. If there’s anything I know, it’s that when I continue to step outside of my comfort zone, that’s where the magic happens. There’s always a nugget of gold ready for me inside of the grit, chaos, and messiness. I’m excited to find it and I’m excited to take you on this journey with me!
For anyone interested in hearing all the juicy and UNFILTERED details, I’d love to invite you to join me inside of my Facebook group.
It’s a safe, loving and judgment-free space for you to come to in order to receive support in exploring ALL parts of yourself as well.
And I’m SO excited because in February, I’ll be kicking off 10 Days of Sexploration, where I’ll guide you through simple, sexy, and transformative exercises to help you open yourself up to your potent pleasure and power.