Why, hello there š½Ā Itās been a while since Iāve shared whatās going on in my world, but today Iām feeling the undeniable tug to rip off the bandaid and flex my fingers on this keyboard thing.
A few days ago, I got a clear download and a hit of inspiration. As a result, I was high on life, eager to get back into my creative flow with a whole spankinā new business. But a couple of roadblocks reared their headsā¦
1) The Fear of Being Unapologetically Me š„ø
I fantasize about pulling back the curtains and FULLY letting you in.
About baring my soul and showing up as the most authentic and unfiltered version of me. But there’s this niggling fearāwhat if I’m misunderstood? Iāve been dreaming of creating a sacred, raw, honest space for mamas (more on this soon), but if Iām being truthful, not doing it ārightā and being canceled makes me want to shut down.
I absolutely value the moments when I’m invited to see things differently and grow. But the constant scrutiny and relentless nitpicking? It can be so incredibly draining. It sometimes feels easier and safer to retreat into my personal cocoon rather than continuously prove and justify myself to those who might not even wish to understand and make space for alternative perspectives.
2)The Tug-of-War Between Passion and Planning š
When the initial ideas for my biz began brewing, they felt exhilarating. I was so excited to create for creationās sake and to let pleasure be my compass. But then, logic tried to take the reins. I was drowning in design choices, platform decisions, and the looming question of who I’m speaking to and what they want. The initial thrill started to feel overwhelming, and the clarity I once felt was replaced by doubt.
When I felt my spirit felt more burdened than buoyant, I knew I had to hit pause to get still, reflect, and realign.
3) Loving Life Offline āš»
Lately, I’ve hit pause on the constant online buzz. Itās been so liberating to live life for ME. To not feel the need to show up on social in a specific way or to attempt to make my life feel aspirational, relatable, interesting, or whatever.
I donāt want to feel like I always have to be āonā and share in a way that will get engagement.
And I donāt want to miss out on monumental or mundane moments with Aisy and the people I care about most. Because life isnāt about curating for an audience; it’s about living authentically, in the present.
So, where does this leave me? Amidst the muddle of fear, the tangle of too many thoughts, and the pull of real life, I know one thing: Iām a creative being who yearns to express myself and give life to whatās within me. š„
If youāve been following me for the past year or so, whatās to come wonāt be too much of a surpriseābut there will be new twists and flavors. š¶
Oh, and Iām not doing this solo.
More to comeā¦ š
PS ā Do you relate to any of those blocks? Which ones are currently standing in your way and how are you feeling about ’em? Share with me over on Insta!
PPS ā If you want something to nibble on while you wait for whatās next, check outĀ Deep + Spicy. Itās like having 48 juicy date convos and experiences right at your fingertipsāplus lots of guidance, learning, and transformation along the way!
Paragraph
Paragraph
Lexi D'Angelo
Love + Spice,
