It’s Not Really About The Piss On The Toilet Seat

Lexi D'Angelo




It’s not really about the piss on the toilet seat.

Sure, it might be a total pain in the ass (or gross, sticky, wetness on the ass?), but it goes deeper than that.


That argument about the crusty baby bottles going unwashed 🍼…

Or the inability to aim IN the toilet not ON the toilet after 30+ years of practice 🚽…

Or your partner swearing time mysteriously warped and is somehow arriving home 2 hours later than expected ⏱ (I mean I guess it’s 5 o’clock somewhere…2 timezones over).

While those “surface” things don’t feel surfacey at all and feel like daggers to the heart, brain, and soul at times, it’s because ultimately, it’s not really about those things at all. 😅

Those things have strings attached to much deeper core roots. And when they get rubbed up against, it sends a vibration all the way down, down, down that activates the roots.

Those dirty bottles? *JOLT* ⚡️straight to the “neglect” wound.

The pee on the seat? *JOLT* ⚡️ straight to the “I need to be the responsible one” wound.

The late arrival? *JOLT* ⚡️Straight to the “distrust” and “lack of predictability” wounds.

So while you might feel so frustrated, bemused, or even embarrassed by your seemingly over-dramatic reaction to these “tiny” surface things, there is something deeper at play.

And until you address the root, it doesn’t matter if the baby bottles are as shiny as your 90s LipSmacker roll-on lip gloss; or the toilet is as consecrated and pristine as your conservative aunt Mary’s vagine vocabulary; or your partner predictably shows up as expected like that wiry chin hair you’ve come to anticipate every two weeks (despite your best effort to pluck it away).


While that would all be nice, even if those surface things became obsolete, the deeper wounds are bound to get activated in other ways if they are not tended to.

For example, if your partner actually tries to do something nice like surprising you with French toast for breakfast when you HATE French toast. 🤢

But shouldn’t they know that about you? Didn’t you specifically tell them less than a week ago at brunch (of all places!) that you didn’t like it? How could they have neglected to take note?

And after 10 years of being together SURELY they must have noticed you’ve never put that in your mouth (granted you’ve put a lot of other things in there that would seem far less pleasant).

Unless they simply don’t notice you or know you at all. And If you can’t depend on them for the little things, how can you depend on them for the big things? CLEARLY, YOU CAN’T! 🤬


😱 Pssst— ^^^ this may or may not be a true story…



Now here’s the thing—it’s not about removing the wound altogether and never having any friction or activation within the relationship.

It’s about having increased awareness around you and your partner’s wounds as well as increased sensitivity about how you may consciously or unconsciously activate them.

Another key component of this? Our wounds give us glimpses into our unmet needs in childhood. And while we might not realize it, we are using our relationship as a means of getting those needs met now.

If we continue to go about our lives and our relationship without knowing how to navigate these wounds and unmet needs, we’re resigning ourselves to living in a minefield where we’re inadvertently setting off explosives, and as a result, deepening the existing wounds, experiencing an extreme lack of safety, and suffering increased trepidation at every turn.

IDK about you, but that isn’t my idea of a good time. I’d rather use my sadomasochist energy in other ways. 😈


In order for things to begin to shift, you must first decide to partner together to dig into your patterns and wounding—not to dig into each other.

Totally easier said than done, but little by little, as you:

  • 1️⃣ Excavate wounded parts
  • 2️⃣ Examine how they came to be and what they want
  • 3️⃣ Embrace your inner child
  • 4️⃣ Express your core needs
  • 5️⃣ Enact a strategy for getting your core needs to be met in healthy and supportive ways
  • 6️⃣ Encode new neural pathways through empowering experiences…

You will ultimately embody new patterns (aka automatic ways of being) and experience an enhanced relationship with your wounds, yourself, and your partner.❤️‍🔥



Alllll this (and more) is what I’ll be talking about and guiding you through in the brand-spankin’ new experience I’m brewing up.

It’s playful, provocative, and could quite possibly be THE thing that changes it all inside of your relationship (and beyond).

If you’re a SPICY MAMA and high-achieving BIZ OWNER who is ready to get your grind on in a whole new way…I’m talking:

  • ❤️‍🔥Devoting to steamy, lasting partnership
  • 💦 Dripping in sacred purpose
  • 🪄 Deepening into soul-fulfilling parenthood

I would la-la-love to invite you for a Spicy Chat! 🌶

To be clear, I’m still in the creation vortex and simply want to hear what you want and need from a program in order for it to fulfill your every fantasy (and then some)!

If you’d be down for a quick, fun, 30-minute Spicy Chat with moi, comment below or DM me on Instagram to lock it in! 💬😍



Lexi D'Angelo

Love + Spice,



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It's not really about the piss on the toilet seat.